Old wounds and something you thought you’d forgotten, stuck in a loop you keep forgetting you are repeating.
There is a pink doe sleeping in the grass and they taunt me with their crown of daisies. I can't forget their blue eyes in the golden sunlight. White Jasmine and sparkling gold wine in the springtime. Blond hair through the smoke and junkyard steaks on the paper plates. Pink roses, lavender tea, baby blue cherub, white skin, fox blood, none of them meant for me. I can't see their face anymore, they don’t exist anymore. Even in their own time the memory of us will fade. Golden heart locket filled with a ray of sunshine… waist of my precious time. I remember you like the lyrics of a once favorite song, every curve familiar, every lyric etched in my brain, but when I close my eyes it's all gone. Remembering a time when you cared. Oh darling don't let your roots grow out... I'm deleting all my memories of you. All that's left now is unreadable corrupted data. I don't want to be part of strangers' alters and I'd wish you’d let up on this curse already. Maybe they were right in the end, no better than any man, toxic and self centered, I’m still holding on to dead flowers in my fists. Lemons and teeth never pulled. Terrified of women, femme faital, and the snuff porn star. It feels like the warm sun will never grace me again and I am haunted by this. This person I long for no longer exists, did I have a chance to save them? Did I crush these babies' breath to pure pulp? It never occurred to me that maybe you just didn’t love me all that much in the end. Now they're just an angry dog and I'm just a ram in the field.
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