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Poems From the 2010’s: Collection 3

3/25/2022

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1. Will You Still Love Me 2. Buy One Get One Free 3. Today 4. I Laugh With Mirth
5. HIM 6. Brain 7. I'm Dead, I Think?

1. Will You Still Love Me

Will you still love me when I can no longer remember your name 
Will you still love me even when I can no longer see you again
Will you still love me even if it causes you pain

Tell me please
Today I smile 
Today you smile 
But can you say that today will always stay?

Will you still love me when I no longer can smile 
Will you still love me when I can no longer sand on my own
Will you still love me when I force you alone

Today everything is perfect 
Today I am happy 
But can you say that today will never break away. 
I hope you will

Now your smile is fading 
Now my life is darning 
Will you still love me when I'm gone
Will you still love me?

2. Buy One Get One Free

Four arms are better than one
Two heads will reign supreme
I am two in one
Listen to the beat of my hearts
I am you and you are me

Sale on me
Half price and get the depression for free
Two for one
I'm a bargain
Buy one get one free

I’m consolidated and liquidated
I'm subpar on clearance
More than one mind
More than one time
Don't break up me and me

Sale on me
Half price and get the depression for free
Two for one
I'm a bargain
Buy one get one free

Maybe one day (one day)
I'll be free
From this cage
One day (one day)
I'll be just me
Plan as my eyes can see

Sale on me
Half price and get the depression for free
Two for one
I'm a bargain
Buy one get one free

3. Today

Today I woke up and I found I was not the same 
For some strange reason I had gone insane
The hands on my arms had switched
And I soon found myself somewhere I did not know 
But for me I did know where I was
Why is it that 
I don't want to hear your voice until you speak 
I don't miss you until the sun goes away 
Why is it 
I'm okay with you being so far away 
Why is if that at night I feel like you are here with me 
Why is it I don't feel you until the light leaves
When you are my sun
I woke up this morning 
And I found my head was on backward
Somehow it had found its way to be completely wrong
And why, oh why, was my ribs burning from anger this morning 
Why, oh why 
I have nothing sacred
I shout it to the sky's

Why is it I feel bland so fast 
How can I be so warm yet I am freezing cold 
Why is it I feel this way today 
When I woke up my feet were backward 
My legs bend all the wrong ways 
I was able to do literally everything but what was right.
So tell me why


4. I Laugh With Mirth

A war wages between us all 
Between roping our flesh 
Or taking a fall 
There is no way to stop this madness
When you're falling through time and space 
Why, I could have had this
When the acidic screeching of harpies is all I have to credit 
And when the putrid stench of failure is all I've made 
Is it safe to say all is well
Perhaps it would be me who killed the king 
I took his rings and crown 
And pretended to be him as I danced around 
Three feet off the ground 
It would be funny to think I miss it 
Being the ruler of filth
A war can never be won 
Not when both sides are being fought by the same man 
How could he see the opposing so clearly
Why it's simple 
His javelin dripped in his own crimson vitality 
Yet he is that one to cause such fatality 
What a pitiful soul he is
When the flaming fury of God’s wrath is all I have to hold 
And the blood sodden rages of lost souls is all I own 
Is it safe to say all is well
Perhaps once upon a time there was somebody he cared for 
But the life drained from him 
It left him cold 
And I stole his riches 
And I stole his curs 
Nobody can bring me back 
I'll be driving the black hers
To the graveyard of the filth we once ruled over 
The sight of the battles that took all the lives 
Of the men who burned bright as the nebula 
I will always see them 
And so shall you


5. HIM

They all love HIM more than me 
I wish I could be as alluring as HE
I'd love to triad places with HIM
But I often forget that I could never be 
And I often forget I'm unloved

I know why HIS cold charms win 
But by god my heart needs some care 
I know I'll never make it out of this but by the gods I want to be free of HIM
If I can't have what HE has

6. Brain

I don't know where I'm going
I could tell you who I am but I have too many faces 
I can't tell you who I was 
Every time I got shot down I got back up but when I stood 
I found there were more copies of me
I split and no we don't seem to fit back together 
All my problems stem from one thing 
It's a funny little bit about me
Part of my brain seems to be missing 
And you can tell me I'm all lies 
But I find it hard to make up the part where I simply am not human 
No I'm not a robot but maybe I should be 
If there was a way to glue me back together I would hope to it 
But screw it 
I came out not screaming and crying but ready to start dying

7. I'm Dead, I Think?

I don't think you ever saw your own face in the mirror 
I don't think you remember me
Do you remember 
Every time I see your eye I see it 
I remember it to 
I don't think I've ever seen myself smile 
Tell him I left it under the mat
Yes, the one outside the front door
Portal to hell
I can't see our reflections anymore
I need all of the attention
I drain of their soft hands and heavy wings
Won't you let me go
I don't know what my face looks like 
His face 
Send me an angel 
Save me from myself 
I'm running away again 
I keep dreaming about the apocalypse
I'm going to die 
I can’t stop it I can’t stop it 
I've accepted it 
Why have I taken morality
I felt the cold snow silence my heart
I saw the look of fear in the eyes of the damned
What is it
I'm ready to die 
For a moment I felt like I knew what it was
I saw for a moment what it meant to be dead
I saw myself cry
I'm shaking now
I don't remember my face
I feel the gun to my temple
Blade to my throat
Breeze on my sweat soaked face as I sit here
Knowing what comes next
Am I okay with mortality?
I'm shaking 


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Poems From the 2010’s: Collection 2

3/18/2022

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1. Were You Listening 2. The Man With Soulless Eyes 3. Missing 4. nomoreangles
5. I Just Want Resolution 6. Blasphemy  7. Vodka and Old Gods

1. Were You Listening?

Yesterday I thought I died 
But I was disappointed to find I was still alive 
I couldn't hear anyone speak 
But I saw their lips moving 
Were they talking to me?

2. The Man With Soulless Eyes

It's so cold here 
When I cry my tears freeze
With my clouded breath I can't see
I shout but my voice dies 
And I scream but it's only lies 
When I cry from my soulless eyes

It's so cold here
Give me the rains I want to steer! 
My love is cold like the snow so I'll 
Crash the carriage into the lifeless trees 
And let my bones rest in the snow covered leaves

My blood is a brilliant vermilion paint 
Melting the frost 
It turns to brown rust 
And I swear to God it will taint 
All the lovers who fallow 
Into passionless frost 
With their hearts beating so faint

Maybe twenty years from this time you'll find my bones 
Cold and alone 
Filed with moss and snow 
Let my sorrow wash over me and haunt me on the marrow
Then you won't be lost in my soulless eyes

My blood no matter how delicately it splashes on the white canvass 
Shall never be as brilliant as the stars that splatter the blackened sky 
And just as before 
When I close the door
My sore arms will turn from red to brown

And when I close my eyes I'll wish they were part of the sky

Their black and empty abyss are soulless as a night with no moon 
And without the moon I will crash this carriage 
Without la lune to illuminate the earth's winter skin 
I'll be lost in the pale flesh 
And be let to crash into the black bones of the forest
Spilling my blood so fresh

The forest empty as my eyes 

Will capture my soul when I die 
And I'll be lost to time 
Oh what a crime? 
I shan't be missed 
All those lies 
Ah yes, I'm the man with soulless eyes

3. Missing

It reminds me of something I can't remember
Like when you know you've lost something 
But you can't remember what you lost
And honestly, it's a bit like drinking cold coffee 
You can't quite enjoy the bitterness it brings you 
And honestly, I'm missing something important here
When I've proved myself right 
You still want to tell me I'm wrong 
And you can't give me what I want 
So why am I even trying 
You never were intriguing and I'm just going through the motions
Just going through the motions 
I can't and I won't let you know if I have emotions 
Nothing is pure or good with me so don't expect anything please
I'm sorry I made the mistake 
But I can't take back things like that, now can I?


4. nomoreangles

oh if you let us we will latch onto you and fall deeply madly infatuated with you too if you let us in we will grip onto everything and pull it apart let us live oh boy if you let us in we will pull at your wings mother me mercy i see youre angelic and i cannot resist oh the wings oh the feathers i cant help myself claws and eye extra limbs limping limping i cant help myself oh just you just you not revenge theres  no need for that i just want your feathers claws extra eye tall tall strike me down i know nothing about you i just want to someone like me ah no no no not again dont let yourself fall for another angel little demon boy demon boy dont do that no more angels no

5. I Just Want Resolution

Grip onto me with your lust
If my friendship is true then I'll let you take my love
If I say, "I love you" break my bones 
Snap my wrists covered in blood
Though my knuckles are bleeding this sap is not innocent 
And though I wish to tear your world apart with my teeth 
It's sadly ironic it's you who's come to reap what I have left
Grip my neck as hard as you can 
Crush my hopes and dreams
Crush my body, just like flowers beneath your rough hands 
And even as my blood pools around me I'm let to believe
Oh god, you're not the one killing me
But how can that be when you're breathing 
And I'm left faithless 
If I'm the victim then why do I feel like the villain?
I'm drowning but you keep telling me it's the other way around
But why aren't you struggling?
Why are you laughing at the tears in my eyes as I gasp for air?
I came here for solace but I was given nothing but bad memories 
And was told to make something of them 
And instead of solidarity I received pity 
There is no resolution in drowning in your agony 
There is no solace in picking at the scab that will never heal 
And so, I chose to sleep with my demons
Claws and teeth will comfort me 
Since your soft flesh only cut me
And I will hold them close to me when I dream of you
Because I know they will always be there to keep me safe 
And I know they will always tell the truth
If humans are inherently evil what is a hell hound to me or you 
You've beat all the good left in me
And I'm soon doomed to repeat your blasphemy 
This is not resolution 
If I have to shake the hands that tore my dreams right out from my scalp
There is no such thing as feeling resolved
When all you know is the crimes of Gods 

6. blasphemy

you'll never see me as a martyr in the eyes of your monotheistic god
the deities aren't man and they do not rule like your false kings
how can you pass judgment over me
how could i have been so wicked in the past life to deserve this
the fates have this planned out for me 
i will paint myself in the blood of your god so you will look at me
i am the man you need
i am your synthetic messiah
wash your bones with my holy tears
your western lord is the one i will bend 
my stigmata is infected as my wounds seep distrust

7. Vodka and Old Gods

It tastes like death and decay 
Even though it's sweet it rips the roof of my mouth 
It burns my stomach like acid 
But it calms my brain and restless heart beat 


My skull hurts, fighting tears that have been tugging at the corners of my eyes 
I'm so loved why am I so sad
My bones are cold as ice even when I'm wrapped in a thousand layers of black wool
My shoulders ache and my arms ache and my nails ache like I've been clawing out of the cold and cracked winter earth 
Bounding from the ground like spring itself 


My throat burns from fighting these tears 
I'm so loved but why then, why am I so achingly sad 
I'm wandering in a glass
I can see myself looking into my own eyes 
I'm empty and sad 
What do I want? 


Come with me let me take your pain away into the abyss
Whiteness blinds me as an angels’ voice sings 
Is she singing to me
Rolling in tears and dripping in sweat I drink fire 
Despite the burning in my eyes I don't think I'll be able to sleep for a thousand year


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Poems From the 2010’s: Collection 1

3/11/2022

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1. Heavy Heart 2. Cliché Fruit Pit 3. Sweet 4. Chalk Lies

1. Heavy Heart

If all the love I had for you could be converted to gold 
I should be the richest man to live 
But the cliché truth remains 
That in my youth 
I shall never be able to love you

If I could collect the stars 
And give them on a sting to you 
Would it be enough to make up 
For all of the galaxies and star dust filing your eyes 
Would you be surprised?
If I could empty the sea 
And give you every ounce
Would it be enough my dearest 
And would it make up for all I am not 
And all that I am?
If I could collect all the light 
And shine it on you 
Then supposed it be enough 
To compensate for my morbid fate?
Would that be enough for you my beloved
Would that make up for all the tears I have made you weep
From when I scream in my sleep 
From when my eyes are sunken so deep 
Would that make up for it all?

2. Cliché Fruit Pit

Cheesy and classic, I understand why eating the fruit of Eden curses man
Ignorance is bliss and the truth cuts deep
Tasting something so sweet is the most painful thing I have ever endured
Cavities I cry I have cavities from this peach
I sunk my teeth deep into the fruit and bit right down to the pit
My my how does my jaw ache
Grinding though cyanide and core of a stone fruit
I'm drowning in sweet nectar and I can't breathe but I still don't have enough
I need more now the sweet taste has touched my lips
Rose and jasmine will forever permeate my senses
It burns my throat

All three still sting but it was drawn from my lips
Drowning in sweet sweet honey I gurgle out a cry
They bubble up to the surface and pop on the feathers of angel wings as a terrible chorus of my voice lift into the clear night air
Overused and powerless in the wrong context I save it for the very last as every breath I draw is wasted on these words
I try to bite more off the fruit but I cannot tear any more flesh from the pit
My yearning is more true than any fantastical nights
I have found the dangers of starting the gods in the face 

3. Sweet

So hot it give you chills 
Amber and sweet like honey 
It burns your throat 
It's potent like cloves and rose
It stings 
Everything is golden
Sap roles down your face 
Roles down to you lap 
Sweat pores into the glistening pool
Like melting 
You'll start to drool

Your heart pounds blood through your sweating hands 
Can't gab into it 
The fire is dim 
Can't see 
Soft like a pillow yet jagged are the bones jutting from you

Blood sweet like wine 
You are the divine
Your horns crack glass as you soon pass 
You're truly here for a good time

Sex and sweet blood 
The pools he sips from dark like his eyes 
Black like the night 
His smile says hello but his eyes make you want to go 
The flame is bright 
And phantoms haunt you tonight

4. Chalk Lies

I said to him "I want to grip you tighter desperately but I'm afraid you are made of chalk." 
He said to me, "I promise I'm not made of chalk as long as you promise to not grip any tighter." 
And then he asked me to grip tighter, he told me it was fine despite my promise. 
But when my hands curled around him and gasped on, he crumbled to chalk dust. 
"You promised me you weren't made from chalk!" I shrieked. 
"You promised to not grip tighter!" His powdered remains shouted back to me. 
"But! You told me to grip tighter!" I cried back to him. 
"I never said anything like that! Look what YOU did to me!" 
Finger pointing, playing the victim, it's all my fault because I did what you said...
But that's just how you are.


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